SPEAK AND HEAL: A GUIDE TO BUILDING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM AT WORK AFTER ABUSE

by e3inspire

Many people face abuse, bullying, and mobbing at their workplace. You must have noticed bullying and abuse in your workplace or have heard of it. When someone uses power inappropriately and in an aggressive form, then it is termed as bullying or abuse. The only purpose of abuse is to demean the other person and humiliate him/her. It can happen both publicly and privately but hurts a person from the inside. Your self-worth plays a major role in every aspect of your life. Whether it is your job or relationship, you need to ensure that you focus on your mental and physical health both.

How does your self-esteem grow?

When do self-esteem levels get lowered? Mostly, people who face abuse, bullying, and toxic relationships have to face such problems. How can you heal yourself after an abuse? Abuse can have a negative effect on your work and if you want to stay productive in your office, then you need to find a proper solution for it. By reducing negative thinking and bringing positive thoughts, you can become a better person for yourself. How to know if you have a low self-esteem after abuse? Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you think that you are being abused at work.

  • Do you feel isolated and ignored in the workplace?
  • Do people insult and disrespect you regularly?
  • Do you get blamed for other people’s mistakes?
  • Do your colleagues and boss use bad language in front fo you?
  • Do you feel that your voice is unheard of at the office?
  • Has someone touched or behaved awkwardly with you?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then there are high chances that you might be facing the work abuse problems. If you have already faced extreme abuse at your old workplace or the current one, it can become difficult to deal with such a situation. Self-esteem and self-confidence get low when you are abused by someone in the office.

Heal yourself from abuse or bullying now!

It can be difficult to build your self-esteem after abuse but you can do it yourself. It isn’t necessary to stay in the rut of anxiety and depression. It is possible to live a beautiful life even after facing abuse. You just need to gather up some courage and follow the given tips to make your life better at the workplace. It will take time but you will be healed soon.

  • Not compromising on work

You should never compromise with your work when bullying or abuse takes place. To avoid getting fired, you need to work harder even if you are feeling anxious. You can also make your work as a way to divert your mind from abusive memories. If you have any evidence against the bullying team, then you should report it to the higher authority without thinking much about it. Bullying should never be tolerated in the workplace because it is toxic and harmful to everyone.

  • Don’t leave the office

If you have faced severe abuse that you can’t even stay in an office, then you might have to leave it. If you can gather the courage to walk in the office to prove yourself at the workplace, then it will be the best thing you would do. Not every person follows the bullying culture and you will find good staff also. Even if you can’t become friends with colleagues, you can find people who are adjustable and welcoming in nature. You don’t need to tolerate toxicity in the office and stand for yourself. If you don’t leave the office, then the people would understand that you are stronger than they think. It is necessary to take important action against the abusive people but leaving office won’t be the solution.

  • Don’t retaliate negatively

Most of the humans plan to take revenge on abusive people but ti isn’t a good way to deal with such serious situations. If you start negatively planning retaliation, then it might harm your reputation also. Your reputation isn’t going to be repaired by taking revenge and that’s why you should avoid this mistake. There are high chances that retaliation might backfire you.

It can worsen the situations and that’s why you can write an email to the bully but avoid sending it. You can write whatever you have in your head and just leave it there. After some days, you might feel different. If you feel the same hatred towards the other person, then you should talk to someone. If you will try to improve your working style and enhance productivity, then it would help you to enhance your self-confidence.

  • Emotional support

Whenever bullying happens with someone, most of the people target the accused person only. You might have to face issues like criticism, rumors, gossips about yourself. This can make you feel isolated and lonely. Don’t think that you are alone because that can make you feel hopeless. It can be possible to have a perfect workplace life if you just muster up some emotional support or validation. Remember that you aren’t alone to face this situation because many people have to deal with emotional support. You can find support from your friends or colleagues who haven’t done wrong with you. It will also build your confidence in the office because communicating with good colleagues helps a lot.

  • Learn more about workplace abuse

When you are confused about the bullying and abuse happening in the workplace, then you need to know more about it. You can read information and details of workplace bullying because it can help you to know if you are facing abuse or it is something else. It might be hurtful to read abuse workplace abuse and experiences of other people but that might give you some strength to fight with the problems. Many people are suffered at the workplace due to bullying but they end up forming a group to help other people suffering from abuse.

  • Change your perspective

Most of the time, people who face bullying or abuse start looking negatively towards their life. You shouldn’t view your life with a narrow mind or negatively when you are abused. There might be other aspects of your life with are positive and you can get healthier if you look at the positive sides. There are several advantages of thinking positive and one of them is that you will be able to live a happier life. You don’t need to feel guilty that you have been abused. The abuser should be guilty and that’s why you need to stay confident about yourself because you have done no mistake.

  • Start a new journey

The healing process also involves forgetting the past and working on the present. If you will get closure with your friends or some good colleague, then it can help you a lot. You don’t need to fight alone because that won’t help much. Nothing can be better than discovering yourself. You can develop new hobbies, new goals, and interests. Your mind shouldn’t be occupied by the negative feelings of abuse or bullying. It can be possible to start a new life journey whenever you want. It is your choice if you want to stay happy or not.

  • Stay positive

When you are surrounded by negative thoughts after abuse or bullying, then it is the time that you focus on staying positive than ever. You should identify the triggers which might make you feel negative. You can also complain if you have proof against the bully but you must focus on your reaction. You shouldn’t stay anxious all day long because it is your life and you can make it better.

No one has the authority to snatch your happiness from you. You need to replace all your negative feelings with positive ones. You should challenge your thought process also. You should learn to focus on positive things around you. You can also exercise and train your brain to focus on good things only. You might indeed find it difficult to stay positive after abuse but you can train your mind to do anything you want.

  • Make a journal

Making a journal can bring several positive results in your life. If you have ever faced any problem related to bullying, abuse, depression, anxiety, or anything else, the journaling can be your friend. Sometimes, you can’t share a few things even with your friends. In such situations, it becomes important that you focus on your thoughts. You can do self-talk with yourself by writing a journal. You can also create art journals to make yourself happier. It is necessary that you also notice your growth daily. After a month, you will see a huge difference in your behavior. There are high chances that your thinking will be broadened. You will start thinking about the positive things in your life. You can also make a gratitude journal where you can add the things you are happy about.

  • Make an inventory of yourself

If you have low self-esteem, then creating an inventory of yourself can help you. How will do it? All you need to do is write your good qualities and bad qualities in a diary. You can also take the help of your family and friends to know about your good qualities. Sometimes, it can be difficult for you to find good things in you but you have a lot of traits that aren’t even discovered. You can also list your talents and abilities as well as dreams. You can discover yourself and this will improve your self-esteem.

  • Celebrate small winnings

Sometimes, people forget the importance of celebrating small winnings. Even if you complete a small target of waking up early for a week, you should treat yourself. There might be several things which you do in a superb way but you don’t even notice it. Most of the people don’t observe their little accomplishments but it is very important to keep an eye over your winnings. There are no chances that you will regret it because you will make yourself feel important. You would feel confident when you will celebrate small winnings.

  • Don’t compare yourself with other people

If you feel that comparing yourself with other people can help you to improve, then you might be mistaken. It is possible that you will find many people who are better than you but it happens with everyone. No one is best in anything and that’s why you mustn’t compete with others. If you are someone who checks the social media profiles of other people and thinks that you have a bad life, then you have low self-esteem. In this situation, you need to remind yourself that you are just seeing the positive side of their life. You don’t even know what’s going on in their lives. You should only compare your present self with the past one. You need to improve yourself daily and this shouldn’t involve any other person.

  • Self-care sessions

Wen you will start focusing on your health, then it will be easier for you to care for yourself. You will develop self-love and ti will help you to get out of every problem in your life. You need to listen to your body always and avoid eating food which harms you later. Eating healthy food and regular workout can improve positive thinking. You will feel more confident and encouraged when you will get that blood pumped up. You must look forward to planning self-care sessions. You can also call up your friend with whom you can go for a spa or massage center.

How can you build your self-esteem?

There are several ways to improve your self-esteem and it is necessary that you do it. If you want to heal from abuse or bullying that happened in past, then you should try to gather some confidence. Winning to your negative beliefs and thoughts isn’t easy and that’s why you need to gather a lot of courage to do so. Here are some tips to improve your self-esteem so that you can have better productivity at your workplace.

  • Build strong and positive relations only

It is necessary that you get rid of negative friends and people around you. You should build strong relations with good people even if they are less. You won’t feel bad about yourself for long when you will good friends who can help you. Good friends will always make you proud and you will never regret building strong relations with good people.

  • Take a break

If you have got tired of staying strong for a long time, then you should take a break. It’s ok if you have to take a vacation also. When you aren’t feeling good about yourself and your productivity is low, then it is the time that you stop and think. You should be able to relax. By taking a social media detox, you can be able to think more about yourself. It will be easier for you to figure out all the chaos in your head when you will take a break. If you are in a toxic relation with your office colleague, then you can also take a break from it. 

  • Learn to say NO

Several people are too kind that they can’t even say NO to anyone. If someone gives you an extra workload, then you shouldn’t just accept it. You should learn to avoid the things which make you feel stressed. You don’t need to take up extra work if you can’t do it. Even if your friends are forcing you to do something and if you don’t want to do it, then you shouldn’t do it.

  • Take challenges

The people who find it difficult to face difficult situations should start challenging themselves. When you learn to challenge yourself, then it becomes easier for you to finishing goals faster. You can become confident about yourself and this helps you to cope with difficult situations also. You will be prepared to do everything when you will get rid of all those negative beliefs about yourself.

Conclusion:

Now that you are aware of so many ideas to get out of stressful life, you should try out these methods. You can be sure that most of the ideas are used by people who have suffered from abuse or stress in the past. Taking action is important if you want to stay happy. You don’t need to suppress your feelings because this life never comes back. You need to live your present moments with full energy and enthusiasm. Having a few good people in your life can make it heaven. You should stop thinking about bad people and focus on good things in your life. No one should be able to take away the smile from your face because it looks good on you.

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